DAY ONE:
5am I bought the wrong goddamn eye-liner and the coffee machine is broken!
930am Josh's car is a piece of shit and it smells like dead skunks!
10am Breakfast was terrible... the pancakes tasted like fucking frisbees!!!
2pm These townspeople are ugly, stinky, freaks! I despise them all!
10pm It's fucking freezing in the tent.
DAY TWO:
You call this a forest please! I've seen bigger trees in my backyard!
Oh, shit!! I'm starting to bloat!!...stupid asshole doctor he told me it would start next week!!!
No sleep beacuse of some fucking annoying noises!
DAY FUCKING THREE!
Broke a nail taking down the retarded tent !
Enough with the goddamn crunching of the leaves with every stupid step!!
How dare you use my vibrator batteries for the dumb flashlight!!!
BULLSHIT DAY FOUR!
The globe is missing, If fucking Josh smoked out of it I'll kill him!
A mosquito bit me on my TIT!
I cry because I know the entire audience wants me dead!